Frasier Reboot! Episode 1.
This first episode was essentially intended to be the return of Frasier.
After the original series, Frasier moved to Chicago.
We thought about the option of starting from him in Chicago, but after discussing it we decided that Frasier had to return to Seattle in order for it to truly be Frasier. Part of what we as fans loved so much about the series was the city it was set in, so we found a way to reincorporate Seattle back into the storyline and we did it through the loss of Frasier’s father, Martin.
Our intention was to commiserate the loss of John Mahoney the actor who played Martin, as well as give an honest and heartfelt return to the show we both love so much.
So, below is part one of our original Frasier reboot script, as it was sent to Paramount+ in 2021.
Also, check out our visual mockup of the episode here for more insight and understanding of our artistic choices.
Thanks for taking the time to check out my art!
Tell us what you think in the comments!
I’m listening…
Peace, love and punk!
There’s No Place Like Home Written by: KiMMM! & Adam Wekarski
Script written on 13 March 2021
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HELLO AGAIN
Scene:
Hallway of Ronee and Martin’s Apartment. Frasier is standing outside the door, wet from the rain, holding luggage. Ronnie opens the door.
Ronee: [smiling endearingly] Frasier...
Frasier: [smiles] Hello.
Frasier steps into the apartment and hugs Ronee.
Ronee: [hugging] It’s so good to see you. It’s been such a long time.
Frasier: Oh, I know. I’m sorry - I got here as soon as I could.
Frasier: [compassionately] How are you doing?
Ronee: [sighs] You know me. I’m hangin’ in there. How about you? How ya doin’, kiddo?
Frasier: Well, honestly, I’ve had better days.
Ronee: Ain’t that the truth.
Ronee: [a beat] Well, come on - get in here. [gestures] Dry off. Let me take a good look at ya...
Frasier begins removing his coat, he shakes off the rain.
Ronee: Here, let me help ya with that.
Ronee helps Frasier remove his coat
Frasier: Oh, why thank you, Ronee.
Frasier looks out towards the night skyline of Seattle through the window.
Frasier: [to himself] Hello again, my old friend.
Ronee begins walking away with his coat and hangs it up.
Ronee: Boy, it sure is rainin’ cats & dogs out there, huh? I bet ya don’t miss this kind of weather down in Sunny California?
Frasier: Ah, No. I’m quite fond of the rain. Especially when it keeps those damn wildfires at bay.
Frasier begins slowly moving around the apartment, taking in the setting. Ronee returns.
Ronee: [holds Frasier endearingly] I just still can’t believe you’re actually here. It’s been too long.
Frasier: Indeed, it has. I just wish it were under better circumstances. When I got the call from Daphne, it just knocked the wind right out of me.
Ronee: You and me both, kid...
..Well sit down, get comfy. Can I get ya a beer?
Frasier : I’d love one.
Ronee walks into the kitchen. Frasier continues to look around the slightly unkempt and cluttered apartment.
Ronee: [in kitchen] Oh, don’t mind the mess. I’ve been so busy getting things ready for the service that I haven’t had time to tidy up. The boys from McGinty’s came by to get some of Marty’s stuff for the reception. I’ve been playing phone tag all day with the damn florist and I’m meeting Father Mahoney in the morning to get everything ready for the funeral.
[Ronee returns from the kitchen with drinks.]
[continuing] ...and don’t mention the ol’ Betties down at the VFW Hall. They just won’t stop bringing me food. It’s like - look, I lost my husband, not my take-out service.
Frasier: [concerned] So, how have you been holding up through all of this?
Ronee: [setting down the drinks] I’m okay. I’m just trying to pick the right suit, and photo, and everything else to get things ready for the service on Tuesday.
Frasier stops Ronee.
Frasier: Ronee.. how are you?
Ronee: [shrugging it off] Oh, you know me, kid. I’m just tryin’ to keep my chin up.
Frasier stops and holds her.
Frasier: Seriously, Ronee. [a beat] How are you?
Ronee: [a beat] I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. I mean, one minute I’m sitting here, watching him watch a Mariners game. I step away to get him a Valentine’s and... [emotionally] just like that, he’s...
Ronee covers her mouth and begins sobbing. Frasier steps in to console her, holding her while she cries.
Ronee: [composing herself] Oh, look at me, making a mess of you.
Ronee starts wiping her tears off of Frasier’s suit and wipes her eyes.
Ronee: We better get you cleaned up before Niles and the gang gets here.
Frasier: [displeased] You don’t mean to tell me that...
Ronee: Yup. You know your brother Niles. As soon as he heard you were flying up, he booked reservations for us all tonight at some fancy-shmancy restaurant. So, you better act surprised.
Frasier: The last thing I want to do right now is go anywhere with Daphne, Niles, and their gaggle of offspring. [annoyed] I came up here in such a rush that I didn’t even have time to find a proper hotel room.
Ronee: Well, why don’t you just stay here?
Frasier: Oh, Ronee. I think the last thing you’d want is for me to be hanging around here, [looks around uncomfortably] cluttering up the place.
Ronee: No, no I insist. I am actually going to be staying with my sister until after the service, and then we’re gonna be high-tailin’ it outta here to Orlando. So, this place will be empty for a while until I get a chance to put it on the market. Plus, you’ll never find a decent place this late.
Frasier: Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to be an imposition.
Ronee: Oh, I insist! By this time tomorrow, you’ll have the whole place to yourself.
Frasier: Well, thank you. I think I’ll take you up on that. Hopefully this will give me an opportunity to have some much needed quiet time.
Door bell rings.
Ronee: Well, that ain’t gonna be tonight.
The door flies open. Jodi and Johnny come running in excited and screaming.
Jodi and Johnny: [loudly] GRANDMA!
Ronee: [looks at Frasier unamused] I don’t think I will ever get used to that.
Ronee kneels down to hug her grandchildren.
Ronee: [affectionately] Jodi! Johnny! Come over here and give me some sugar [they hug].
Frasier walks towards the door as the rest of the family enters. Lynn instantly plops down on the couch and gets on her phone.
Frasier: [approaching Daphne] Daphne! You’re looking just as lovely as ever.
Daphne: Hello, Frasier. It’s so good to see you [they hug].
David approaches.
Frasier: My goodness, is that David?
David: Hi, Uncle Frasier [they hug].
Frasier: My, how you’ve grown. The last time I saw you, you were no bigger than your sister Jodi over there.
Jodi: [darts a look from across the room] What did you say about me?!
Frasier: Just that you’re one of the BEST nieces EVER! Now, come on and give your Uncle Frasier a great big hug. You, too, Johnny! C’mon, get over here!
Jodi and Johnny run over and hug Frasier.
Jodi: [looks up] What did you bring me from San Francisco?
Frasier: [unamused] Sorry. I’m all out of Rice-A-Roni. Here.. [pulls from pocket] have a wet nap from the plane.
Jodi looks perplexed as Frasier walks away.
Frasier: [looks around; rubs hands together] Now, where is my other favorite niece? Hmm? Where is she? Where’s the ever-so-lovely Lynn?
Frasier sees Lynn across the room and waves her over. Lynn ignores him.
Daphne: Lynn, come say ‘Hello’ to your Uncle Frasier.
Lynn focuses on her phone; doesn’t respond.
Daphne: [sternly] Lynn! Come say ‘Hello’ to your Uncle Frasier!
Lynn continues to ignore Daphne.
Frasier: Oh, Daphne, it’s quite alright. She’s perfectly fine. I don’t want to...
Daphne: [interrupts] [politely] Frasier! [a beat] It’s fine.
[towards Lynn] [forcefully] LYNN!
Frasier comically reacts.
Lynn: [slams her phone down] WHAT?!
Daphne: Say ‘hello’ to your Uncle Frasier!
Lynn: [obnoxiously] Hiiiii!
Frasier [shook] Hello... [shifting eyes, nervously] How... lovely to see you again [guards himself in shock].
Lynn looks back at her phone.
Daphne: [forcefully, to Lynn] DON’T you talk to him that way! You show some RESPECT to your uncle, little missy!
Daphne & Lynn both storm out of the room. Niles approaches. Frasier and Niles stop to look at each other.
Frasier: [delighted] Niles...
Niles: [respectfully] Hello, Frasier. It is so good to see you.
They hug. Daphne & Lynn are screaming in the background as they renter the room. Still hugging, Frasier’s eyes comically “pop” open as a reaction to the yelling.
Niles: [pulling away] Lynn!...
Lynn walks away.
Niles: Lynn.. Lynn!
He follows, but stops as Lynn leaves the room.
Niles: [passively] Okay.
A beat.
Frasier: [concerned] Oh, Niles. Goodness. I do hope everything is alright.
Niles takes a comically deep breath and turns towards Frasier.
Niles: [passively] It’s fine..
Niles’ eye begins to twitch.
Frasier: Niles. Good God! Is your eye twitching?
Niles: [calmly] Is it?
Niles comically holds his eyelid down with a single finger. He takes another deep breath.
Niles: It’s fine... It’s fine.. [a beat] Well, we better be off if we plan on making those 8:30 reservations at Cuisson Mise en Place.
Frasier: Ah, delightful! Well, let us all be on our way then.
Frasier grabs his coat, puts it over his arm as he walks towards the front door. Frasier barely opens the door when Ronee shouts from across the room.
Ronee: Alright, but somebody’s gotta take out Eddie first.
Frasier slams the front door shut; completely shocked.
Frasier: EDDIE?!?!
Johnny: [enthusiastically] I’ll do it!
Johnny runs to go get Eddie.
Frasier: EDDIE?!...Do you mean, to tell me, that after all this time Eddie is.. still ALIVE?!
Eddie quickly runs out, onto the furniture and is now eye-level with Frasier. Eddie stares at Frasier as Frasier stares back in disdain.
Frasier: My God.. what have they been feeding you?
Eddie barks.
- End Scene -
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR THE SPECIALS?
Scene:
Cuisson Mise en Place Restaurant. Everyone is seated. Food has just arrived.
Frasier: [to the server] Thank you.
Server: Of course, my name is Stephen, if you need anything, please just let me know.
Stephen walks away.
Niles: [to Frasier] Wow.. I still just can’t believe you’re actually back.
Frasier: I know. I’ve just been so busy these past years with my life in San Francisco. My private practice has been absolutely booming. Between that, writing five books in three years, and recently being added to [proudly and loudly] the New York Times Best Seller’s List, I’ve barely had time for anything else.
Niles: Ah, yes. I rather enjoyed your refreshing insights on the subconscious dynamics between humanistic and behavioral perspectives amidst cross-cultural implications within a contemporary society.
Daphne: [sarcastically] Yes, thought-provoking...
Frasier looks at Daphne unamused.
Frasier: Why thank you, Niles. I must say, however, I’m not the only successful Crane man at the table this evening. I recently read of young David’s mentions in the Scientific Digest.
Daphne: Oh I know, we are so proud!
David is modestly bashful.
Daphne: Niles, tell Frasier the good news!
Niles: Oh! That’s right, you haven’t heard. David was recently accepted into the very exclusive MEMS program at Hackett Industries.
Frasier looks confused.
Frasier: Hackett Industries?
David: Yes, they’re one of the leading mechatronics manufacturers here in Seattle. I’ll be doing a summer internship in microelectromechanical system engineering. I’ll be assisting in the testing of micro electronic sensors, system controllers and I may even get to build my own self regulating processor [fingers crossed].
Frasier: Well... I’m just glad you’re on our side.
David smiles. Lynn scoffs.
Daphne: [forcefully] Lynn!
Frasier: So Lynn, What have you been up to these days?
Niles: Oh, don’t get me started. The only thing she’s accomplished lately is getting on my last nerve.
Lynn slumps in her chair and gets on her phone.
Stephen (the server) approaches.
Stephen: Will there be anything else this evening?
Frasier: [perplexed] Umm.. I think we’re still enjoying our entrees right now.. but thank you, kindly.
Stephen: Certainly.
Stephen smiles and walks away.
Johnny: [enthusiastically] Look, Grandma! I drew a picture of you!
Johnny holds up a comically hideous rendition of Ronee that says “Grandma”; abstract.
Ronee: [horrified] Oh, wow... Thank you! It’s so... life-like.
Frasier: [looking at painting] Yes.. for Picasso maybe.
Johnny: Here, Grandma! I drew one of you and Grandpa, too.
Johnny shows his paining. The tone shifts as everyone silently thinks of Marty for a moment.
Stephen returns to the table.
Stephen: Would anyone care for a dessert menu?
Frasier: [angrily] No, we do not care for the dessert menu. [firm, but polite] Thank you, Stephen.
Stephen walks away.
Frasier: [to Niles] My God. So much has changed throughout the years. I can not believe that this is what is being passed off as four-star service these days.
Niles: [chuckles] It certainly was not that way when we were running things.
Frasier: Niles, whatever do you mean?
Niles: Why, Frasier.. It certainly has been a long time. You cannot tell me you don’t remember this place.
Frasier: [looks around] I-I don’t recall.. I’m sorry, Niles.
Niles: This was the exact spot of our failed restaurant: ‘Les Freres Heureux.’
Frasier: Oh! ‘The Happy Brothers’.
Jodi: I didn’t know you and Uncle Frasier had a restaurant.
Niles: Very briefly. Until it all came crashing down on opening night.
Daphne: Right through the wall, if memory serves me correct.
Frasier looks unamused.
Niles: Indeed. Your Uncle Frasier and I had quite the adventures together back in the old days.
Daphne: Yes, it seems like every week the two of you were getting into some kind of silly shenanigans together.
Stephen walks by and slyly drops the check onto the table directly in front of Frasier.
Frasier: Oh, is there no limit?!
Frasier angrily puts down his fork & knife; throws down his napkin. Stands up.
Frasier: Excuse me, Stephen! Is there any particular reason that you have been incessantly rushing us through our meal the entire evening?
Stephen: Sir?
Frasier: [angrily] From the moment we sat down you have continuously pestered us at every turn!
Stephen: I’m sorry sir, I...
Frasier: [interrupts] What ever happened to families enjoying their time together?! Hmm? The point of an evening out is to enjoy the experience, NOT to be treated like cattle! Continuously poked and prodded while expected to gobble down our food at the speed of light like WILD ANIMALS!
Niles: Frasier, please.
Frasier: No! This must be said, Niles! This FEED TROUGH they call a restaurant must be exposed! I know what’s going on here. I’m on to your little game “Stephen”. You’re just trying to get the meat outta the seats so you can keep the tips flowing. Aren’t ya Stephen?! Well, looky here...
Niles: Frasier.
Frasier: NOT now, Niles!
Niles: FRASIER!
Frasier: What IS IT?!
The restaurant is staring at Frasier; Lynn is horrified; Frasier instantly back-pedals to save face.
Frasier: [embarrassed] [sits down] I think we’ll see that dessert menu now.
Stephen rolls his eyes.
- End Scene -
Scene:
Ronnie & Marty’s apartment. Frasier is alone with Eddie, sitting at a table writing on a piece of paper. Eddie begins acting out - fussy, digging through boxes. Eddie drags out Marty’s old walking cane.
Frasier: Eddie! What are you doing?
Door bell rings.
Frasier picks up the cane, puts it aside. Answers door.
Frasier: Oh hello, Niles.
Niles: Hi, Frasier. [walks in]
Frasier: Thank you, again, for coming over on such short notice to help me with all this stuff.
Niles: It’s really no problem. I actually welcome this brief respite from my family. Plus, you’ve got so much on your hands as is.
Frasier: Is everything alright at home, Niles?
Niles: Oh, yes. Everything is fine - it’s just, you know: work, wife, kids.
His eye twitches
Frasier: You’re sure everything’s alright?
Niles brings up both arms, one crossed over the other, while pressing his eyelid to stop twitching. Takes a comical deep breath.
Niles: It’s fine..It’s fine. So, what are we doing here again?
Frasier: [looking at boxes] Well, I promised Ronee I would help her box up all of Dad’s stuff before she left for Florida. I thought maybe, we could do it together.
Niles: You know you can hire people to do that for you, right?
Frasier: Oh, that’s not the point! [a beat] Truthfully, Niles, I’ve been having a rather difficult time trying to find the right words to say for Dad’s service tomorrow. I hoped I might get some inspiration by going through some of his personal belongings.
Niles: Ah yes, evoking reflective nostalgia as an attempt to elucidate the prototypical nature of your relationship with Dad.
Frasier looks unamused.
Eddie acts out, interrupting their conversation.
Niles: What’s going on with Eddie?
Frasier: I haven’t the slightest. Ronee has been complaining about his nonstop acting out. [tends to Eddie][To Eddie] Come on, Eddie! Come on.
Frasier brings Eddie into another room while Niles continues going through Marty’s stuff. Frasier returns.
Niles: Oh - my - GOD. Frasier, look!
Frasier: Oh my GOD - it’s ‘The Cordoba!’
Niles holds up the matador painting; ‘The Cordoba’, (from Season 4.8) they both laugh and silently reminisce.
Niles: I still remember when Dad first got this for you.
Frasier: [laughs] Yes. I do, too. Can you believe he actually thought that I would enjoy this?
Niles: [laughs] Well, that was Dad for ya.. He was always trying to do nice things for us. Always making the grand gesture to compensate for the fact that we had absolutely nothing in common. Remember when he took us ice fishing?
Frasier: Are you kidding? I still have frostbite on my ass from that night.
They both laugh.
Niles: [with fondness] He always knew how to show us a good time in his own unique way.
Two beats.
Frasier continues to rummage through the boxes.
Frasier: Niles.. Have you noticed something strange?
Niles: What do you mean?
Frasier: Did you notice that Dad has all of these memories and trinkets from you and your family, but nothing of me and mine?
Niles: Oh, don’t be silly, Frasier. Dad has plenty from both of us in these boxes.
Frasier: [irritated] Really? Well, that’s not what I see. All I can see are [begins showing off items] photos of Niles & Daphne’s anniversary, little Jodi’s first dance recital as the Sugar Plum Fairy, David’s macaroni motherboard. Look, Eddie’s first collar! What is here to encapsulate my memories with Dad? A few BOOKS? Some newspaper clippings... here [holds up photo in frame] a single picture of Frederick, that’s it!
Niles listens intently.
Niles: Frasier, you do know these material things do not represent how Dad felt about you? It may seem that dad has more memories showcased of us because, we were here with him during his autumn years, and-
Frasier interrupts; furiously.
Frasier: I was with him for eleven years! The man didn’t even bother to hang up my picture and he practically makes a shrine of you and your family!
Niles: That’s not fair! You know all of these things are meaningless, Frasier. Dad loved us, equally! He may not have said it often, but when he did, he meant it.
Frasier: Oh, well that’s just so easy for you to say, since we both know you were obviously his favorite!
Niles: And what exactly is that supposed to mean?!
Frasier: You know what it means. That after all these years, after all this time... all of our petty squabbles and sibling rivalry for Dad’s affection, it has now become abundantly clear to me that Dad did and always has favored YOU over me!
Niles: [calm, but serious] What’s going on here, Frasier? What is this really all about?
Frasier turns and looks away.
Niles: Frasier, you left. You made that choice. No one made it for you. We didn’t stop you from calling. We were always here for you, and we always will be here for you. You know that. So, what is this really about?
Frasier: I’m not sure why I’m so upset over the lack of family photos in these boxes. Perhaps, the real reason is because now, for the first time in my life, I am realizing that I don’t have a family to take photos with.
Niles: But you do have a family. You have Frederick, you have me and Daphne. You have all of us.
Frasier: It’s just not the same, Niles.
Niles: Let’s face it, Frasier. Your career is your family - it always has been. These books and awards, these are your children. You used your career as a replacement for your personal relationships.
Frasier: Oh, Niles. It pains to me to admit that you’re right.
Frasier stops to think. A beat.
Frasier: Ya know, I’m approaching a certain point in my life where I’ve been asking myself what do I really want? And what do I want to leave behind after I’m gone?
Niles: Are you saying that you want to have more children?
Frasier: Of course not, Niles. I’m just saying, it would be nice to finally have someone that I can create a box full of memories with.
- End Scene -
IN LOVING MEMORY
Scene:
Everyone is waiting in the lobby of Martin’s funeral service. Roz enters and greets Frasier.
Roz: Frasier!
Frasier: Oh, Roz! Thank you so much for coming. [they hug]
Roz: Of course! I was so upset when I heard the news. He was such a good man.
Frasier: Thank you. He certainly was, wasn’t he?
Frasier and Roz stop and take a good look at each other.
Frasier: Well, look at you. You look great! You haven’t aged a day since I last saw you.
Roz: Oh, stop it, no, seriously... keep going!
They laugh.
Frasier: So, last time I saw you - you were producing for KWA-TV.
Roz: Yeah, I’m actually still there. I’m the Executive Producer for Good Morning, Seattle. We’re now currently ranked the second-highest morning talk show in the Pacific Northwest.
Frasier: Oh, wow, Roz. That’s quite impressive.
Roz: Thanks. So, what about you, Mr. Big Shot? I saw your book on the Best Seller’s List. What have you been up to these days?
Frasier: Oh, well you know.. I’ve just been so busy these past years with my life in San Francisco. My private practice has been absolutely booming. Between that, writing five books in three years, I’ve barely had time for anything else.
Roz: You know, I should book you on the show.
Frasier: [flattered] Oh Roz, I’ve been out of that game for so long I wouldn’t know where to begin.
Roz: Seriously, Frasier. I can get you on air like that [snaps]. Ooh, you could even host your own weekly segment! I could have your face plastered across three states by the end of the week. Wha’d ya say?
Father Mahoney announces the service is starting.
Roz: Think about it.
Roz walks away.
Frasier: Niles, could I speak with you for a moment.
Niles: Daphne, could you please wait for me inside? I’ll follow shortly.
Daphne: Alright.
Niles: What is it, Frasier?
Frasier: [anxious] I.. I, just don’t know what to say. I mean, everything has happened so fast. I’ve barely had enough time to process Dad’s death, let alone properly prepare a speech in his honor.
Niles: [confidently] Frasier. What do you think Dad would say to you right now?
A beat; Frasier thinks.
Niles: He’d say, keep it clean and speak from the heart.
Frasier smirks.
Frasier: Thank you, Niles. You’re right.
They both walk into the service.
[Transition/Dissolve into next scene]
Scene:
Everyone is seated in somber quiet room. Father Mahoney introduces Frasier.
Father Mahoney: ...and now, Martin’s eldest son, Frasier, would like to say a few words.
Frasier approaches the podium.
He gauges the room, two beats. He looks at his notes and then places them back into his pocket, raises his head to speak.
Frasier: My father... was a great man... and.. although he rarely ever said it, and had his own special way of showing it...I know that my father loved me. He loved us. [Closeup of Niles] ..All of us. Each and every one of us here, right now, in this very moment, honoring this great man’s life.
As a young man, my father enlisted in the United States Army and was proud to serve his country. He then, became an Honored Police Officer & Detective for the Seattle Police Department for 30 years. As we got older, Dad told us that he joined the service for the same reason he became a police officer, because he always thought about the safety and well being of others. Dad wanted us to have a bright future, full of possibilities, and happiness. This is the reason why he sacrificed so many of his dreams, so that my brother Niles and I, could follow ours.
Dad knew what was truly important in life. He would sing and write songs, and he loved to dance. Of course, he would never let anyone know that about him. He wouldn’t want to bring that type of attention to himself. I always knew though. That was the blessing of being his son. Being able to share those special moments that made his life so meaningful, as it did mine. I will always remember his voice, his wisdom, his laughter, his warmth, and his smile.
My father was an incredible human being. He was not a perfect person, but he was a perfect father, for me anyway. I will admit, at one point, times were tough for me and Dad, and it didn’t get any easier when we started living together. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories. [Frasier smiles while crying] Looking back, I realize that those eleven years with Dad were the most cherished memories of my entire life. I did not know it then, but I finally understand it now, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
For what it’s worth, my father wouldn’t have wanted us to mourn his loss. He would have laughed it off and changed the subject because he always believed that life is worth enjoying, not crying over, and you know what? ..He was right.
Now, I leave you with these words, from the poet Mary Elizabeth Frye.
“Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there... I do not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you waken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of gentle birds in circling flight...
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there... I did not die.”
Frasier looks towards Martin’s photo and the closed casket.
Frasier: [Crying] I love you, dad.
- End Scene -
THE GANG’S ALL HERE
Scene:
McGinty’s. Ronee is playing at the piano with all of Marty’s friends. Everyone is singing and swiggin’ beers. They sing loud and cheerfully.
They sing “Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here” (1917)
(Lyrics)
‘We love one another - We do, (We do)
We do, (We do,) we do, (We do,)
With brotherly love and it's true, (It's true)
It's true, (It's true) it's true, (It's true)
It's one for all, the big and small,
It's always me for you;
No matter the weather
When we get together
We drink a toast for two.
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here,
What the deuce do we care,
What the deuce do we care,
Hail! Hail! We're full of ale,
What the heck do we care!
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here,
What the hell do we care,
What the hell do we care,
Hail! Hail! We're full of ale,
What the hell do we care!’
Someone: [yells] To Marty!
Everyone: TO MARTYYYY!
Everyone in the bar takes a drink.
Cut to Frasier, Niles, Daphne, and Roz sitting at a table together.
Daphne: [cheery] He really did love this place, didn’t he?
Niles: He really did. [fondly] To Dad. [He raises his glass]
They all toast to Marty’s memory.
Roz: Man, I still can’t believe that we’re all actually here.
Daphne: I know, I can’t believe it either. It’s almost surreal.
Niles: I remember a time when we would gather around a table like this nearly every day.
Roz: Oh, I know. I used to look forward to going to Cafe Nervosa, knowing you guys would already be there. [a beat] Man, I haven’t been there in so long now that I think about it.
Daphne: It’s not there anymore.
Frasier: [surprised] Really?
Niles: That’s right. It’s a yogurt shop now.
Roz: Wow, so much has changed.
Frasier: It really has...
A beat.
Daphne: Well, we’re off. It’s way past Johnny’s bed time. It was so good seeing you again, Roz. We’ll get together this week for coffee.
Roz: Oh, absolutely! Lookin’ forward to it.
Daphne: Frasier, we’ll see you soon.
They hug. Niles and Daphne leave with the kids. Frasier and Roz are now sitting alone at the table.
Roz: I know it’s probably not the best timing Frasier, but have you given any thought to what I said earlier about you coming to work for me?
Frasier: You were serious about that?
Roz: Yeah! I got a time slot to fill and I gotta get the ball rolling. Think about it Frasier, wouldn’t it be wild if we were all back together again? It would be just like the old days.
Frasier: [smiles] I don’t know, Roz. I can’t just drop everything and work for you. I already have a life in San Francisco.
Roz: Do you? ’Cause from what I hear, it’s just you and your books out there.
Frasier: That’s not all, Roz. I have my practice, I have my social circle, as quaint as it may be, but I still do have a rich life in California.
Roz: Frasier, that’s all good and well, but what I’m offering you is a chance to have a rich life here, in Seattle. This is your hometown, where your friends and family are. I mean let’s face it, Frasier. We’re not spring chickens anymore. What do you have to look forward to in San Francisco? Another earthquake?
Frasier internally contemplates Roz’s offer.
Frasier: I can’t just come back. I’ve been out of the spotlight for so long now. Would I even have anything to offer to todays audience? Let’s face it Roz, I’m no longer relevant. How are people going to relate to me? Whose gonna care about what I have to say?
Roz: A lot of people Frasier. I know you can’t see it, but I can. I know you’ve been out of the game for a while, but I know you, and I know what you’re capable of. You’re a handsome, sophisticated, and prominent psychiatrist with decades of experience and insight. You have so much to offer, Frasier. You know, time moves so fast. You gotta know what you want in life and then go for it! I think it’s time you seriously ask yourself... what do you want?
Roz begins to gather herself, stands up.
Roz: Think about it, [hands him a card] and call me. [Roz kisses his cheek & a quickly hugs]
Frasier: [pleasantly] Good night, Roz.
Roz leaves.
Frasier remains seated alone at the table while tapping Roz’s business card in deep contemplation. [Dissolve Transition to Ronee’s Apartment] Frasier is alone, seated at a table holding Roz’s card.
Eddie acts out.
Frasier: [annoyed] Eddie, just what is the matter with you?! You know what? [gets up] [walks towards Eddie] I think I know what you need... How about some goose liver pate imported from Madrid, to calm the nerves? How does that sound? Anythings’s gotta be better than that freeze dried kibble Ronee keeps for ya under the sink.
Frasier walks into the kitchen. He returns to find Eddie, sitting in front of Marty’s photo, depressed. Eddie places his paw on the photo and begins to whine. Frasier stares at Eddie empathically. Frasier picks up Eddie’s leash.
Frasier: [calmly] Eddie... come here, boy.
Frasier hooks Eddie’s leash onto his dog collar [tight shot].
[Transition] Frasier is now standing outside, removing Eddie’s leash. Eddie quickly and instinctively runs off to Marty’s grave, buried next to Hester Crane. Eddie whimpers and paws at Marty’s headstone as Frasier walks over. Eddie circles on the grass in front of Marty’s grave before laying down and ‘falling asleep’. Eddie’s image slowly fades away in a dissolve transition.
Frasier is now standing in front of his parents graves, rainy weather. [Shot widens] A third, smaller headstone is revealed that reads EDWARD CRANE. Frasier lays flowers on the three headstones. A beat. Frasier takes his phone out of his pocket and makes a call.
Frasier: [on phone] Yeah, hi, Roz. I was wondering if that offer is still available.
- End Scene -
[“Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs”]
Close-up of Marty’s face in a photo. Slow pan to a photo of Eddie. The shot continues to pan out and reveals Frasier unpacking and hanging up photos in his new home, full of boxes.
Legal Stuff!
This episode was written by by KiMMM! & Adam Wekarski. Please do not use this material without our knowledge or consent. Stealing is bad karma!
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